Dear Dr. Jackson,
I would like to become a SHADO secretary, preferably in the stead of Ms. Ealand. Unfortunately all my requests were turned down so far. Can you help me?
I do understand your frustration. I also had to struggle to achieve my goal of working for the Commander. However, I do wonder if your wish to become his secretary stems more from your innermost hidden desires rather than altruism. Perhaps you should look carefully into your reasons and your aspirations and go deep inside your mind to ascertain exactly what you are searching for. Certainly, the role of the Commander’s secretary is one of vital importance and as such, all candidates must be prepared to undergo the most rigorous physical and mental training before being even considered for the position under him.
On looking at your Curriculum Vitae I have noted some deficiencies. The ability to type 50 words a minute is not considered to be enough of a qualification in this age of computers. Neither is it sufficient to state that you can make an excellent cup of coffee, desirable though that attribute might be to some members of SHADO. The Commander requires a secretary who combines efficiency, zeal and enthusiasm with tact and discretion. The photograph of you in a bikini wearing an ‘I Love Ed Straker’ sash might have some bearing on your inability to progress beyond the initial selection process.
You might benefit from approaching the problem at a different angle, maybe by working closely with Colonel Freeman to gain more experience. Or conceivably Colonel Foster could offer some further insights into the methods needed to reach fulfilment.
I would suggest that you try to keep your fantasies under check and focus on the positive aspects that you have to offer. I will have a vacancy for a secretary in the next fortnight. Perhaps we could work together to develop your skills.