The September Horoscope
As I am presently engaged on other duties, Colonel Freeman has been given the responsibility of constructing this month’s Star Signs. I am aware that earlier efforts by Colonel Freeman resulted in some aberrant readings, but the Colonel has received his instructions and I am assured that, while I am seeking out a possible security risk to SHADO, he will make every effort to provide accurate readings.
Alec here. Welcome to my Star Signs. As usual, the boss has foisted yet another awkward job onto my shoulders while he goes gallivanting off in search of a piece of totty under the pretext of a security leak. I have enough to worry about here, without having to do this. Who reads them anyway? I could put anything and I bet he wouldn’t notice – too busy chasing women in fast cars. and inveigling them back to his place for a quick snog.
Capricorn: 22nd Dec – 19th
Jan A mysterious stranger seeks to discover your innermost secrets. Don’t be fooled by the way they look – appearances can be deceptive. Keep your senses alert for anything hidden that might be used against you.
Aquarius: 20th Jan – 18th Feb
Flash cars may look good, but beware of the temptation. There might be more hidden under that racy exterior than meets the eye. Take a step back and assess the situation from a safe distance.
Pisces: 19th Feb -19th March
Security is paramount this week. Make sure all your confidential documents are out of sight – prying eyes (and ears!) will be trying to catch you out!
Aries: 20th March – 19th April
Danger is all around you this week – even walking down the pavement is fraught with potential hazards now that the hunting season is underway. Keep your calm and remember that not everyone is out to get you – it only just seems that way.
Taurus: 20th April – 20th May
A serious breach of security will take you from the safety and comfort of your office into the criminal underworld of lies and espionage. Make sure you are in control – you will need all your wits about you if you are going to avoid an unpleasant incident involving a vase.
Gemini: 21st May – 20th June
You will be tempted to push yourself, and your car, to the limit sometime soon. All well and good, but it will end in tears. Make sure you have fastened your seatbelt and watch out for oncoming lorries.
Cancer: 21st June – 22nd July
Inviting someone back for a meal is an excellent way to get to know a person. Splash out on a decent bottle of wine and something to eat, but make plans to tell someone you can trust – a phone call will do – so that if things go wrong, you are covered. nothing worse than being disturbed at an awkward moment by someone from security.
Leo: 23rd July – 22nd Aug
Its time you took a step back and left someone else in charge. So what if someone makes a bad decision? It won’t be the end of the world. The worst that can happen is that you have a mess to sort out or someone has pinched all your cigars.
Virgo: 23rd Aug – 22nd Sept
Make sure you do the washing up and leave the house looking tidy. You never know who might come round for dinner. Might be a good idea to change the sheets as well.
Libra: 23rd Sept – 22nd Oct
Drinking and dining don’t always mix. Especially if you have other things on your mind besides having company for dinner. Keep your wits and don’t let your emotions get the better of you. And remember to leave the wine in the car to give you that opportunity to phone a friend.
Scorpio: 23rd Oct – 21st Nov
A colleague will contact you with the information you requested. Someone close to you has been lying and is not what they seem to be. It could all end in tears if you are not careful. An unexpected visitor will walk out sooner than anticpated, but it’s all for the best.
Sagittarius: 22nd Nov – 21st Dec
Work has never looked so inviting. Time to check on your subordinates and get back behind the desk where you belong.
