Ask Dr Jackson: Purple Wigs

Dear Dr Jackson,

I recently  started my first rotation on Moonbase, but I am unhappy about the purple wig that I have to wear. I do understand that there may be a valid  reason for wearing such an item, however, I have realised that there are several different styles and I wonder why I have been given one that is noticeable longer  than some other wigs.

Dear Moonbase Operative,

This is a most intriguing question and I will endeavour to answer it as carefully as possible. The selection of wig style for new operatives was the subject of many months of intensive research involving some of the world’s foremost authorities  in psychoanalytical testing. Our investigations led us to a new understanding of the unconscious mind and its neuroses, particularly with regard to behaviour patterns  and rational thinking.

We studied early childhood influences in an attempt to discover how these events might have shaped each individual’s current actions and discovered that the reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that fill our unconscious mind  are outside of our conscious awareness. Most of the contents of the unconscious mind are unacceptable or unpleasant, such as feelings of pain or  anxiety.

These unacceptable feelings, as I am sure you  can understand, would have led to internal conflict, and reduced efficiency.  It was necessary to find some method of sharing the burdens of our minds with others in a non-judgmental environment. Our  computer studies then revealed that female operatives in Moonbase would benefit from the application of specific therapy techniques, one requirement being  to wear the wigs. The long term benefits have been  documented and verified. I am sure you yourself recognise the importance of having a stable, well- adjusted and rational workforce in Moonbase.

As for the difference in the styles of wigs, that is based on a computer assessment that matches an operative’s ‘wig style’  to  their physiological attributes, using the well-established Bradford Uniform Measurement for Staff  In Zero-gravity Environments  System.


Dr. Jackson

This article has 2 Comments

  1. Dear Dr Jackson, I must say I am fascinated by the details of this process. I had no idea that selecting a wig was so important, or so complex. As an aside, might I enquire as to how the B.U.M.S.I.Z.E. information is gathered? I imagine that, given the arduous nature of assembling such data, there are few volunteers to perform the actual measuring and close examination required. For the good of SHADO, might I put my self forward for the task?

  2. I would be so interested to read a detailed account on how the purple wig has an effect as a therapeutic means, and why the purple colour is just the colour we need. Please can you give us an elaborate account, there are some of us really interested in psychotherapy. I guess it has a calming effect on the brain and thoughts?

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