Dear Dr. Jackson,
Ever since I started working for SHADO I’ve felt that HQ should have been placed in Rome or Athens, where the weather is warm, the food is excellent and the women are… Well anyway, can’t we at least get some better grub than black pudding and shepherd’s pie?
Yours, Grumbling Australian
Dear Grumbling Australian.
You should learn to appreciate the finer aspects of the great English cuisine. It is considered to be the epitome of the art of gastronomy. Such superb delights as Toad in the Hole, Rice Pudding, Fish and Chips and of course Mushy Peas are the zenith of excellence when it comes to food.
I have my personal favourites, Lobscouse and Pease pudding.
In this current situation with global warming and the fears of drought, you should be grateful that England has a temperate climate with cool summers and heavy rain.
As for the women here? There are only two words I have to say in reply. Gay Ellis.
Should you continue to feel so disgruntled with your posting here in England, then I would be happy to discuss a transfer to somewhere more suitable. I am reliably informed that there are two vacancies at the research station in McMurdo Sound.
Yours. Dr Jackson
Dear Dr. Jackson,
I wonder whether in this day and age someone could teach our precious Commander that men can get their coffee themselves and highly qualified women on Moonbases are not secretaries. Who do I need to approach?
Miffed Lady in the Moon
There is one inescapable fact that you seem to have overlooked. You may be highly qualified, but there are only two women in SHADO who are entitled to have a cup of coffee made for them by our estimable Commander. Unfortunately, you do not qualify for that privilege, and therefore you are required, as per SHADO regulation Number 12C paragraph 3d section 4w, to ensure that the senior officers are provided with the required refreshment upon their arrival at Moonbase.
For your information, the two operatives mentioned above are Lt G. Ellis and Lt N. Barry. There have been rumours that Col. V. Lake has achieved that meritorious status, but that rumour is erroneous.
Should you have a problem with providing the Commander with his preferred beverage in future, I will be pleased to make you a cup of coffee and discuss the situation with you.
Yours, Dr Jackson (milk, no sugar)