The Virginia Monologues 8

1st December 2015

(Set shortly after The Long Sleep)   Her   I’m not surprised he walked away so abruptly. Any normal man would have. After all, it wasn’t a pretty sight was it? Lying in that bed looking haggard. Age can do that to some people if they don’t make an effort, though of course I look after myself properly. No wrinkles for me! A lengthy and strict regime of daily cleansing…

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Who Is Your Role Model?

17th August 2012

No man is an island, entire unto himself. Each of us is the product of the influence of many other people, from parents and friends, teachers and spouses, those we have admired and those we have sworn never to emulate. As part of its rigorous training programme, SHADO gives each new member a questionnaire to answer. The results are then used to determine each person’s role model.   Answer the…

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To Sid or not to SID…

1st April 2012

As Dr Jackson is currently en route to London ( lucky sod) and therefore incommunicado, I am answering a couple of the letters that he has received for his ‘Problem Page’. He owes me a couple of bottles of decent malt for doing this! Alec.   Dear Dr Jackson A couple of weeks ago one of my colleagues at work persuaded me to sign up for a speed dating session….

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Breaking News and ‘Alec’itorial

1st April 2012

This month brings exciting news! Harlington-Straker, always a leader in the field of business and technology, has been working hard to ensure that from today, April 1st, our loyal readers will no longer have to worry about the vagaries of internet connections or whether your laptop battery is running down. We are proud to announce that The Ed Straker Herald will now be available EVERY DAY FROM YOUR LOCAL NEWSAGENTS!…

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Ed Straker Reads Your Stars

1st April 2012

The April Horoscope This month, as I am on furlough, Colonel Alec Freeman has been given the task of providing the star signs. I trust that, while I am absent, his efforts will meet with your approval. Colonel Alec Freeman writes: Welcome to my Star Signs. I have endeavoured to bring you the most accurate readings, as well as finding an appropriate Malt Whisky for each sign. This has entailed…

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SHADO Marketing Department

1st December 2011

SHADO MARKETING DEPARTMENT (A Subsidiary of Harlington-Straker Studios) are pleased to present their Christmas catalogue. Please note that all orders must be accompanied by your unique SHADO Identity number and will need to be verified through Voice Print Identification before any transaction can be authorised. SHADO Writing paper Ideal for all your ‘thank you’ letters. Heavy deckled paper 120gms weight, with the distinctive SHADO logo in the top corner. Sold…

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Claustrophobia

1st September 2011

Dr Jackson has been unavailable for consultation this month. He was due to go on holiday, and was about to arrange a replacement ‘Consultant’ for this very popular ‘Problem Page’ but he has been transferred at short notice to the McMurdo Sound base to help with the research into lice infestations in bumble bees. Commander Straker simply grunted when the Herald editors requested further details. However, Colonel Freeman did give…

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Happy Birthday, Ed!

1st September 2011

Comes around just once each year, Creates a stunning atmosphere. A heated party, beginning till end, The place to be is SHADOland. A birthday is seldom, a serious occasion, Try not to take it, like the d-day invasion. Laughter and jokes are within sight, Stock up on both, all through the night. Straker’s birthday, they all wish to join, Nina barbeques delicious sirloin. Do not upset her, or she’ll burn…

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