Commander Ed Straker reads your stars: This month, due to the increased activity from the alien foe, I have asked a reliable member of the organisation to give a personal astrological reading for each star sign. He has taken time from his very busy schedule to calculate these readings and I trust that Herald readers will find them satisfactory. The June Horoscope Capricorn: 22nd Dec – 19thJan The weekend is…
The August Horoscope Capricorn: 22nd Dec – 19thJan You face a difficult month. Too many chocolates? Or perhaps not enough exercise. Those few extra pounds are certainly going to make it hard to zip up that uniform! Aquarius: 20th Jan – 18th Feb False eyelashes are certainly ‘in’ this month. Just make sure yours are securely fastened. Colonel Foster gets very embarrassed when someone notices a stray eyelash on his…
Her: Finally. Signed and sealed. The deed is done. There is no turning back now. After so much heartache, so many broken promises, so many rejections, tonight I will finally get my heart’s desire. Tonight. I have given up everything for this. Oh, the sacrifices. My post in Westbrook Electronics, my research, my lovely lovely home. But it will be worth it. Tonight I will achieve my heart’s desire, and,…
Her: How do I tell him? Surely he must have noticed by now. I mean, it is glaringly obvious, and I am sure even someone like Ford must have seen. It stands out a mile and…. yet I cannot bring myself to tell him. He will be devastated, I am sure. It will be such a blow to his esteem, such a deep wound, something that I am sure he…
The June Horoscope I’m pushed for time this month as Henderson is demanding our complete financial accounts before the Bank Holiday. I have given a brief summary of the month ahead for each sign, but if you urgently require the full analysis for your Star Sign, you will have to email SHADO. (You should know the address) Capricorn: 22nd Dec – 19thJan Decisions have to be made. Vegetarian or Vegan?…
Her: It was horrible. I mean, really horrible. I can’t remember ever being as scared in my life. I thought I was going to die, that it was all over. It looked at me and I could hear my heart pounding as it came towards me, lethal intent in its every move. There had been no warning, nothing to prepare me for it. And, strong willed woman that I am,…