As Dr Jackson is currently en route to London ( lucky sod) and therefore incommunicado, I am answering a couple of the letters that he has received for his ‘Problem Page’. He owes me a couple of bottles of decent malt for doing this!
Alec.
Dear Dr Jackson
A couple of weeks ago one of my colleagues at work persuaded me to sign up for a speed dating session. He thought it would be a bit of a laugh, but I was woefully disappointed. The whole thing was dreary and depressing.
By the end of the night my comments card was totally blank apart from some notes I had made about a meeting at work .One woman however, had her eye on me and kept returning to my table, but there was no spark, so I marked my card with a firm “no”. I was therefore horrified to get a note from the organisers a few days later, saying I was “matched” with her. Since then she has bombarded me with emails, raving about how pleased she was to finally meet a man she likes and chastising me for being “very coy” about my interest in her.
She has asked to meet and I’ve told her I’m too busy, but I can only make excuses for so long. It turns out she works near the studios and I’m terrified I’ll bump into her and have to explain that the organisers got it wrong.
What’s the best way to extricate myself from this tricky mix-up?
Eddie
Dear Eddie
If this is an example of how you communicate with women then it is little wonder that you are single. You had a very simple solution within your grasp. After her first email all it needed was a short polite reply explaining exactly what had happened and wishing her well in her search for Mr Right.
Now, thanks to your pointless “I’m too busy” excuses, you are left trying to get out of a situation which is stickier than getting honey off a spoon.
Whatever happens from here on in, you must understand that you will end up hurting this woman and what’s so frustrating is that it could have been avoided.
This time be smart, Eddie. Arm yourself with a blanket of honesty and move forward. Explain to your hapless suitor exactly what has happened and make sure you preface everything with an admission of how stupidly you have behaved and apologise for wasting her time. You’ll come out of it looking like an idiot and she’ll be upset, but at least it will be over.
And whatever you do, don’t invite her home for a meal. Even if you DO hate eating alone.
Yours, A Freeman
Dear Dr Jackson.
I have been a member of SHADO since its very beginning and I consider myself to be one of the most vital pieces of manpower in the organisation. I am efficient, hard-working and reliable and I have only had six weeks off work through incapacity during the last ten years. I am unfailingly polite and well-spoken as well as being highly educated and well-travelled. I have no immediate family or responsibilities and up to now I have been quite happy with my situation.
However, over the last few months I have become aware that my life is not as fulfilled as I had once thought. I find myself increasingly isolated and ignored.
Is it that wrong to want to be part of a family? To want someone to love me, to hold me, to care about me? I am wise enough to realise that, after such a long period of celibacy, a physical relationship would be difficult, but I yearn for someone with whom I can share my life.
I am considering joining a dating agency. Can you recommend any?
Yours, in seclusion
‘Sidney’
Dear Sidney,
I fully understand the problem. Working for SHADO is a rewarding career and allows us to travel the world, but it has its drawbacks in the need to keep secret about our real work. This often leads to a feeling of inadequacy and an inability to communicate well with members of the opposite sex. Perhaps you should join some local group in your area. How about watercolour painting, or perhaps a book club.
You could even advertise for a companion on your next trip abroad. You never know, the woman of your dreams might even be working in SHADO, and just waiting for you to notice her! Open your eyes to the possibilities around you, as long as you keep your hands off Lt. Johnson.
And Colonel Lake. And Lt Ellis. And Lt Barry.
You can try it on with Harrington though; she’s a little too sassy for me.
Yours,
Col Freeman
Oh…Sid ……. as in S.I.D?
Dear SID.
I am sending you the url for a highly recommended Social Networking Site that promises to match compatible singles in your field of expertise. It has a very high success rate. I hope you find the object of your desires.
Follow this link: Spacebook.com/SHADO.pff
Colonel A. Freeman
Good luck sid!