Odd Socks and Unrequited Love

This month Dr Jackson has asked his assistants to help answer some of the questions sent in by concerned readers.


Dr JacksonDear Dr Jackson.

I recently purchased some new clothing and, in an attempt to lose my reputation of being predictable and unadventurous and other such uncomplimentary names, I bought several pairs of black socks with the latest fashion in striped toes. Very daring I have to say! But they are comfortable and warm and I have worn all three pairs in the last fortnight, although having only purchased three pairs I was forced to wear each pair for four days and sixteen hours to ensure equal wear.

At the weekend I put them into the washing machine on a short warm wash at 30 degrees with 10ml of conditioner in the final rinse as recommended. However, I now have a serious problem. Once the machine had begun its cycle, I discovered one sock, from the pair with green and pink stripes, left behind on the floor. To my horror, it was too late to stop the machine and I was left with this single item of washing.

All the other socks are now clean. I ironed each one and folded them into pairs before putting them back in my sock drawer. However, I now have two socks left over. One is clean and ironed and ready to wear, but the other still requires laundering.

My question is: Do I wear the dirty sock with the clean one? Or perhaps I should wear the clean sock with the dirty one? Should I wear the clean sock by itself until it is dirty and can go back in the machine with its partner? Should I wear the clean sock with one from another pair, although they will not be a matching pair? And if I did that, then what would I do with the unworn odd sock? Would it be better to wear the dirty sock inside out and the clean one the right way round? And furthermore, to ensure even wear and tear, should I wear the unwashed sock for another four days and sixteen hours? Or will that result in one sock being worn out before the others? Perhaps if I wore it on alternate feet every hour that would prevent excess wear in certain areas?

I would be grateful for any responses to my predicament as this is having a deleterious effect on my performance

Yours sincerely,

Oscar Charles Dickson


Virginia Lake: Oh for heaven’s sake, O.C.D. Go and buy some more socks.

Lt Ellis: Eeeuuuuwwww. Gross.

Straker to Dr Jackson: Doug. Take this one out of the Moonbase rotation a.s.a.p. until you’ve had a go at it. And do full psyche evaluations on all the other staff.

Dr Jackson: I think you should come and see me for a long talk, and maybe a cup of coffee. Please ensure that you are wearing matching socks that have been laundered within the last twenty-four hours.

Ford: I have had the same problem myself on several occasions. I keep a spare sock in one drawer now, just for occasions like this.

Straker to Dr. Jackson: This one as well Doug. Make it a priority.




Dear Dr. Jackson,

I’ve been trying for five long years to get the attention of the man I love. We are perfect for each other. I’ve seen it in his startling blue eyes, in his tender mouth, but somehow I can’t get him to admit his feelings. What am I doing wrong?

Yours, Colonel Lake


Jackson, Ford, Gay, et al: Oh, do give it a rest, Ginny.

Straker: Lake? The computer expert? Didn’t she go back to Westbrook last month?

Alec: Who’s she in love with?

This article has 1 Comment

  1. Dear Dr. Jackson as a new Lt. who is very shy when first meeting new people. Can you give me any advice re the following. I am due to see Commander Straker tommorow and it will be my first day on the job at shado H.Q. Fresh out of recruit training. When I am nervous I tend to freeze in stressful situations and meeting the commander I fear will be one of these. I hear that he is very tough but has a gentle side he dosen’t show very often. Will he understand how I feel in front of him and what if get all nervous in front of him? Col Freeman has said not to worry but I am and dont want to let the commander down. What would you and Commander straker advise?

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