The Virginia Monologues: 7

Her:

I overheard him talking to Freeman. About poetry. Wanting a word to rhyme with Lake. He looked over at me as he said it as well.

I love a man who writes poetry.

A man with blue eyes who writes poetry.

And especially a man with blonde hair and blue eyes who writes poetry.
Wonder what he used to rhyme with Lake?

Take…? Forsake…? Ache…? Partake….?

Can’t wait to read it. Will it be erudite and Shakespearean? Or in the style of Frost or Donne. A sonnet or maybe a haiku. In beautiful calligraphy on expensive cream paper. Folded into a heavy envelope and left on my desk.

Sigh.

Him:
Perhaps this will stop Alec’s persistent demands that I sort Col Lake out. For some ludicrous reason, he seems to think she will soften up and be less prickly if I kiss her. Long time since I tried writing poetry – just hope he appreciates it.

Commander Ed, I’m your best mate.
So why won’t you kiss Virginia Lake?
She’s fancied you for years you know.
Why won’t you give it just one go?

Alec please, for heaven’s sake
I will not kiss Virginia Lake.
I do not like her, Alec, mate,
I do not like Virginia Lake

Would you kiss her here or there?
Would you kiss here anywhere?

I would not kiss her here or there,
I would not kiss her anywhere.
Listen please, for heaven’s sake
I do not like Virginia Lake.

Would you kiss her in a house,
Would you kiss her pretty mouth?

I would not kiss her in a house
I would not kiss her on her mouth
I would not kiss her here or there,
I would not kiss her anywhere.
Listen please, for heaven’s sake
I do not like Virginia Lake.

Would you kiss her in a bar?
Could you kiss her in your car?

I would not kiss her in a bar.
I could not kiss her in my car.
I would not kiss her in a house
I would not kiss her on her mouth
I would not kiss her here or there,
I would not kiss her anywhere.
Listen please, for heaven’s sake
I do not like Virginia Lake.

You may like her, wait and see
You could kiss her in the sea.

I would not could not in the sea
Alec, please, just let it be.
I would not kiss her in a bar.
I could not kiss her in my car.
I would not kiss her in a house
I would not kiss her on her mouth
I would not kiss her here or there,
I would not kiss her anywhere.
Listen please, for heaven’s sake
I do not like Virginia Lake.

Say now Ed, try in the dark?
Or maybe somewhere in the park??

Not in the dark, not in the park.
Not by a tree, not in the sea
Alec, please, just let it be.
I could not kiss her in a bar.
I could not kiss her in my car.
I would not kiss her in a house
I would not kiss her on her mouth
I would not kiss her here or there,
I would not kiss her anywhere.
Listen please, for heaven’s sake
I do not like Virginia Lake.

Go on Ed, give just one peck
On her lips or maybe neck
You could kiss her in a boat,
On that most attractive throat.

Not one peck on Miss Lake’s neck
Nor in a boat or on her throat,
Nor in the dark, or in the park.
Or by a tree, or in the sea
Alec, please, just let me be.
I could not kiss her in a bar.
I could not kiss her in my car.
I would not kiss her in a house
I would not kiss her on her mouth
I would not kiss her here or there,
I would not kiss her anywhere.
Listen please, for heaven’s sake
I do not LIKE Virginia Lake.

Please Ed, just try a single one
Just a peck, no need for tongue
No one will know except for you
And me and Paul and maybe Lew.

No, Alec not a single one
No lips and certainly no tongue
I will not kiss her, not a chance
Not even give a second glance.
Not one peck on Miss Lake’s neck
Nor in a boat or on her throat,
Nor in the dark, or in the park.
Or by a tree, or in the sea
Alec, please, just let it be.
I could not kiss her in a bar.
I could not kiss her in my car.
I would not kiss her in a house
I would not kiss her on her mouth
I would not kiss her here or there,
I would not kiss her anywhere.
Listen please, for heaven’s sake
I do not like Virginia Lake.

Go on Ed give her a go.
You might enjoy, you never know
You could kiss her on a plane
Or maybe even on a train.

Give it up I beg you please,
I am pleading on my knees.
I could not kiss her in a plane
Or even on a high-speed train.
No kiss at all not even one
No lips and certainly no tongue (eugh)
I will not kiss her, not a chance
Not even give a second glance.
Not one peck on Miss Lake’s neck
Nor in a boat or on her throat,
Nor in the dark, or in the park.
Or by a tree, or in the sea
For god’s sake Alec, let it be.
I could not kiss her in a bar.
I WILL NOT kiss her in my car.
I refuse to kiss her in a house
And never, EVER on her mouth
I would not kiss her here or there,
I would not kiss her anywhere.
Listen please, for pity’s sake
I do not LIKE Virginia Lake.

So Alec, Please give me a break
I will not kiss Virginia Lake!!
Not here, not there,
Not anywhere,
Not now, not then,
Not where, or when,
Not ever. Ever. Do you hear?
Not this month, next month or next year.

Alec:

I hear you Ed, and I agree,
But one last request.

Will you kiss me?