Ed Straker reads your Star Signs

Star Signs for December:

Produced by Dr D. Jackson.

(under protest)

The use of random points of light seen in the night sky as a portent of personal changes in one’s financial, health and emotional status, has always troubled those medical personnel who have been trained in the fields of mental health.

I fail to see any connection between a person’s likelihood of career advancement – or the possibility of meeting someone tall, dark and handsome – and the placing of a fixed luminous point in the night sky of a large, remote incandescent body.

Taking advice from so-called ‘Star Signs’ is a concept of such absurdity that normally I would refuse to partake in such a superficial and pointless exercise. However, I have received strict orders and therefore, as Chief Medical Officer, I am duty bound to provide some advice, however brief, to those of our readers who still choose to follow this arcane system.

I note that there are 12 separate ‘Star Signs’.   Here for your perusal and hopefully for your future well-being, are 12 pieces of advice. Take them as you find them.

 

Capricorn: 22nd Dec – 19thJan

Take a brisk walk each day. You will soon feel the benefits of fresh air.

 

Aquarius: 20th Jan – 18th Feb

Go on holiday occasionally. Just to give your staff a break if nothing else.

 

Pisces: 19th Feb -19th March

However much you may dislike the dentist, get your teeth checked each year.

 

Aries: 20th March – 19th April

Headaches are often caused  by too much caffeine and work-related stress.

 

Taurus: 20th April – 20th May

Have a regular bedtime routine and stick to it, wherever you are.

 

Gemini: 21st May – 20th June

A regular massage will help avoid back pain.

 

Cancer: 21st June – 22nd July

Avoid excessive alcohol intake. Even a couple of drinks can affect one’s ability to make sensible decisions.

 

Leo: 23rd July – 22nd Aug

Stop smoking. Your lungs as well as your pocket, will feel the difference.

 

Virgo: 23rd Aug – 22nd Sept

Remember- it is now  against the law to use your phone while driving.

 

Libra: 23rd Sept – 22nd Oct

To get the recommended eight hours sleep a night, make sure your bedroom is quiet, and lock the doors to ensure that you will not be disturbed.

 

Scorpio: 23rd Oct – 21st Nov

Clean your teeth twice a day. Flossing is also recommended.

 

Sagittarius: 22nd Nov – 21st Dec

Regular eye tests are essential, especially if you stare at a computer screen  for long periods of time.

The advice contained in these pages is not intended to replace a full medical analysis given by a properly qualified practitioner.