Oh sod it.
Make your own star signs this month. I am taking a well-earned break.
You require a 6 sided die. Take one section at a time, roll the die to create your own astrological chart for September.
A1.
1. Mercury has moved into ascension with Venus in retrograde thus ensuring ………
2. Venus is moving into conjunction with Mars resulting in …….
3. Jupiter’s influence on the tidal currents ends with …..
4. Pluto moves back into the Solar System once more, forcing ……
5. Neptune and Uranus continue their conflict which results in …….
6. The entire Solar System shuts down this week and goes on holiday, guaranteeing……….
A2.
1. ……major shifts in the fabric of the universe.
2. ….. a huge decline in the production of Oreo cookies
3. …… a storm of outrage as nudism is banned on French beaches
4. …… long traffic queues on the M25 clockwise.
5. …… the inhabitants of a small Scottish village declare Independence
6. …… the development of a computer virus that eliminates the letter ‘e’ in all Word documents.
B1.
1. The latest love in your life looks…
2. Your love life looks…..
3. Your faltering love-life looks…..
4. Your non-existant love life looks…
5. The chance of any love life looks….
6. A love-life? It all looks…….
B2.
1. .. as if there will be an announcement shortly
2. .. as if it is expecting you to do all the running
3. .. as if it will fall at the first hurdle
4. .. as if it has had second thoughts about the whole thing
5. .. as if it has had enough and is off to Ulan Bator for a few years
6. .. as if the police will finally catch up with you. Maybe not in time to stop the wedding though.
C1.
1. The month ahead is going to be…
2. The month ahead might well be..
3. One week will be..
4. One day will be..
5. The morning of the 23rd will be….
6. The time between 03.37 and 03.38 on the 30th will be…
C2.
1. … filled with new activities as you achieve your true potential.
2. … exciting and action-packed, and a little bit painful at times!
3. … a bit of a drag actually; crochet was never your scene was it?
4. … completely missing from your memories when you wake up in the prison cell.
5. … a chance to see just what you can do with that can of magnolia paint and an egg whisk.
6. … rather embarrassing. Don’t ask. Really. Don’t ask.
D1.
1. Prospects for the future in your chosen career look……..
2. Your social life is…..
3. The opportunity to achieve that hidden personal goal is…
4. The need to keep one step ahead of the opposition is…..
5. The necessity of taking on a whole new identity is……
6. That planned domestic change is……..
D2
1. … increasing by the minute. Make sure you do your research properly though. And make sure you find out where it is. Don’t rely on bus time-tables either.
2. … looking promising. But don’t wear that fuschia-coloured suit. It clashes with your sideburns.
3. … getting serious. You must take decisive action immediately if you are to avoid further problems involving cat litter and bamboo canes.
4. … growing more and more problematic. You were warned what would happen if you continued to put corned beef before the needs of your family.
5. … going to get you into even more trouble. Get the paperwork sorted before it’s too late, or that long-forgotten incident with the stick of celery will hit the headlines, with predictable results and red-faces all round.
6. … far worse than you had anticipated. Somehow they have found out where the gerbils are being kept. Time for a fast exit.
Until next month!