We have talked our General of Aggressive, Croath, into sharing with us some of his thoughts on the issues of the 9th Seed world.
All right, we stole copies of his journals and are reproducing them herein because we thought our readers would like to know what he really thinks, the stuck up … what do you mean he’s here????
Upload the copies, I’ll take care of this …
Sounds of gunfire.
—–
This is Croath of the Aggressors. While I understand the need for our people to understand the conflict we are even now resolving with the Seed planet, that does not include the theft of potentially dangerous materials. All personnel’s personal records are under seal of security and are considered inviolate.
That is all.
——-
<giggle> tiptoe tiptoe, sneak sneak, HIDE! <snicker>
He keeps his journal on a computer? In code? With a password! Damn.
“Here.”
Flash drive changes hands. Insert. Download. Remove. Run!!!!!!!!
——
What do you mean it’s not in English? The aliens speak Irken?? Oh, it just looks like … Oh, hell. well, run it through the Irken English translator and see what happens! <laughter>
—-
ge3 dgfjl sljdf0p0j ljfl ljaldjpo gnloudh josodfij flasoijnangj klkahodfgn
<sigh> the translator didn’t work. <head desk>
<grumble>
<snerk> OK, if we can’t get the real thing … we’ll just make it up ………… <bright insane look>
<poke, poke .. urgent>
What? what the hell? Where did those tentacles come from … <running away!!!! flee!>
<crunching sounds as the thing with tentacles ingests the computer, monitor, keyboard, chair, desk … >
—
This is General Croath of the Aggressors. The monster unleashed by the humans upon our home world is being subdued even as we speak and will be returned to the hideous perpetrators as soon as possible. End Transmission.
Croath turned to his subordinate with a long suffering look. “What do you mean we are not subduing the creature and it is growing?”
—
“We summoned a what?”
“I’m not sure, but it’s Godzilla sized.”
“Euw.”
“Yeah.”
<riffles through illegal, arcane tome that doesn’t actually exist in this time space continuum> “Ah, here!” clicks tesserect. “8q 8qk d5y7oy7n r5qty’ fkxd, fkxd gh.dfzgblhzcx” <ow, throat hurts … was it supposed to turn that color? oooo! glitter! run!!!!!!!!!!>
Croath: Get that cleaned up and find me the perpetrators! Pink and magenta glitter indeed! <snarly>
—
Rini: reading page. I don’t think we can post this.
dragon: reading over shoulder and going pink in the face. Nope. Who’d a thought? Aliens write smut. <giggling>
LtCdr: reading under dragon’s elbow. <snicker> Not bad smut, either.
—
“I want a word with you,” growled softly.
<Innocent blink, blink. Owlish look. Slurp sound of empty cup being siphoned by straw.> “Mmmm?” Incomprehensible mumble. Grin. Holding out cup to growl. “‘m out.” Smile. Slither onto the floor to sleep.
<sniff. recoil> “What the hell?” Glares at somnolent body. “Where the hell are my journals?”
<incomprehensible muttery garble> “nalfjgajgn nlgjlkfgjgad …” tapers off into soft snores.
<disgusted noise. stomps out.> “We’ll never get anything out of that one.”
Flash drive falls to floor to be scooped up by Croath. “Got it!”
Editor to subordinate. “Suppose he’ll pop a gasket when he figures out we duped him?” Lightly tossing another identical flash drive into the air and catching it. <stare> “This is the right one, isn’t it?”
—
It was not my goal to become a member of the Aggressors, yet how could I turn away from my people? My father says as they have sown, so should they reap; yet it was not the generation now here who sowed the material that bred the virus that nearly destroyed us. Can I stand by and let my people die? Can I turn away as others have and let them continue into darkness when there is a solution at hand? What do I do? The gods, if they ever were, have abandoned us and left us to solve our own problems. If we are to continue, then the last seed planet must server out ends.
Yet there are those who question. I find myself between … not two but a thousand differing voices and none clear enough to follow.
Rini looked up from the bit she’d managed to get a friend to run through a program to decipher. “It’s not … funny …”
dragon nodded. “I kinda thought it might not be if we got the real thing,” she answered softly with a deep sigh. “The problem is, now he’s real, now he’s understandable. Not what a lot of people want out of the aliens. Maybe we should stick with the smut … ”
—
Croath looked up from his computer with a very annoyed snarl. Apparently the flash drive he’d rescued was not the one with his journals on it. Damnation. What the hell was a shinigami anyway?
—
Pale blue eyes blinked sleepily through pale lemon colored bangs. The eyes were edged in smudged black and she yawned. “Look, I’m working on it … but i have to kill a Romany and set magic loose in the world first … ”
He scowled like that didn’t make any sense to him. She rattled her somewhat fuddled mind and tried again: “OK, so what defines literacy … ” Damn. Wrong universe.
dragon gave up and fell asleep.
—
Second of the Aggressors Croath stared at his assistant until that stalwart young woman cringed inwardly. She wanted to point out that it was not her fault that the smilies were added to his communications or that some of them seemed … well … er … uhm …
“Have this cleaned up,” Croath ground out through his clenched teeth. Almost he could have found satisfaction in tormenting his assistant, but the single lower case d followed by that … archaically beautiful dragon in the signature told him that none of his people were responsible for the line of … carnally involved emoticons prancing across the page.
—
I have been ordered to our base near the Seed planet. I am beginning to suspect I have made enemies beyond my lineage’s ability to keep inactive. This should be interesting.
—
In what can only be described as a peculiar turn of events, the hyperdrive system of my ship has introverted and dumped us in the past of the Seed planet. I am not entirely certain the drive can be repaired or that we can be rescued.
Second of the Aggressors Croath eyed the whirling vortex of black and grey clouds warily. It seemed to be centered over what looked like an ancient and abandoned ruin on top of which massive displays of electrical current kept exploding.
“Mom.”
“Uhm … yes?”
“Where?”
“Uhm … not sure.”
Rini-chan gave dragon a squiggle eyed look. “Mom …”
“OK, they’re somewhere near Teotehuacan and probably somewhere around the first Mortal Kombat.”
“Moooooooooooom!”
Innocent look. “I didn’t do it. It’s not my fault the tesseract fell into his hyperdrive … is it?” Blink. Blink. Big grin.
“Mom, who else has a tesseract to drop in his hyperdrive?”
“Maddog, Rastro (she named the founders of the very small faction of Lurkers from whom she originally acquired her tesseract), you, Lucas, …. Tess? … maybe it was one of the chibi?” she suggested brightly, knowing they had never ever let the chibi near the tesseracts … tesserects … whatever. Except maybe … Ash.
“You probably need to get him back.”
“You don’t think Rayden would appreciate him?
<long suffering sigh from the Rini-chan>
—
Second of the Aggressors Croath stared into the plasma field of the eyes of Lord Rayden, Lord of Thunder, Guardian of the Champions of Earth Realm and Protector of the winner of the last Mortal Kombat; and wondered just exactly what he’d gotten in to. Knowing that gods can be fickle, he knelt and bowed his head to this entity whose hair rose on subtle currents of static electricity and who did not look very happy.
“dragon,” the word was almost spit out. The white haired god sighed and nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“We thank you.”
Just how was he going to explain that he’d interacted with a god of the Seed world? This was getting unbearably complicated. Maybe he should just report they fixed the drive and got home. So much easier.
—
Second of the Aggressors Croath scowled at the rotund, pale haired woman he knew was at the bottom of all his issues. She handed him a small black box. “Put it in your hyperdrive. It’ll clean out all the weirdness residue left by the tesserect.”
“What sort of weapon is a tesserect?” he demanded.
“It’s not a weapon,” she explained. “It’s a … er … travel device that only works for fan fic writers.” Well, truthfully, it worked best in the hands of fan fic writers because it was invented by two of them and it only allowed people to visit fan universes.
“Lucas says that should pull any interference out and put you back where you belong.” She folded out with a nod. Lucas didn’t tell her she had to tell them it would put them back on their homeworld before they left …
—
To be continued ……..