Dear Dr Jackson,
I was absolutely thrilled to be selected for a position in the security section of SHADO, and I was even more delighted to be told that I would be getting a company vehicle as well. I had hoped for a top-of-the-range Aston Martin, but was informed that this was not in the list of vehicles available for use by my department. I have now taken delivery of the vehicle and I am experiencing some difficulties, particularly with regard to parking and fuel consumption, although the off-road capabilities are first-rate as is the space available for carrying my shopping.
There are also complaints from my neighbours who are woken at late night when I get home, due to the excessively noisy engine.
Do you think I might have a case for rejecting the vehicle as being unfit for use?
I hope you can help me with this matter as it is causing me some concern and my efficiency ratings have plummeted this last week.
D.
Dear D,
SHADO mobiles are not intended for personal use. I have informed Commander Straker who will be contacting you with regard to the unauthorised use of a company vehicle. The Commander has asked me to enclose an invoice for the cost of 5,317 litres of diesel which is the estimated amount of fuel used for your shopping trips. At the current price of £1.37.9p per litre this calculates at £7,337.00. Please submit your payment immediately.
You have an appointment to see me tomorrow at 09.00 hours for a full psychoanalytical test, followed by a cup of coffee afterwards.
Dr Jackson
Don’t complain about your company vehicles. At least you don’t have to drive and maneuver while spinning and swirling!
Alien Officer. If you must design your craft to look like upside down tea-cups which have the aerodynamics and flying capabilities of a garden shed, then you have only yourselves to blame. I always questioned the fact that your skins are green. The truth is revealed. It’s not that bio-acrophylic compound is it? It’s simply travel sickness.