Dear Dr Jackson,
my boss is exhibiting worrying symptoms. We have enjoyed an excellent working relationship for all the time I have worked for him as assistant art director, but in the last few weeks he has begun to act in a most peculiar way, almost as if he is a completely different character. I heard him yesterday demanding that Mr Foster call him ‘sir’, and he has been ignoring Mr Mason’s requests for an urgent meeting, as well as demanding secret discussions with Mr Freeman. I am wondering if perhaps he has another side to his personality, and if so, how I should deal with this. I enjoy my job but find this rather stressful.
Assistant art director
Dear Assistant,
fear not. You boss is simply exhibiting all the classic signs of megalomania. The need to have people call him ‘sir’, the secrecy, these are all symptoms of a personality in the throes of turmoil. These sufferers require constant approbation and reassurance. Psychologists have agreed that there are two opposing strategies that can be implemented in situations such as these.
Firstly, you can choose to simply ignore the sufferer, thus ensuring that you do not ‘feed’ their craving for attention. This can be very effective, although it can have the detrimental effect of focusing the patient’s attention firmly on you. Do you really want that?
The other option is to go along with the sufferer, in the hope that they will eventually recover. It is a long process however and fraught with difficulties, as the sufferer may well manifest yet more personalities in order to impress you. This can lead to a situation where you are no longer able to discern what personality you are dealing with and that in itself can create further acrimonious situations.
Your best bet is to get out of there.
Pronto.
MGM studios currently have a vacancy for an Assistant art director and I have already sent a glowing reference.
Dr Jackson
Memo to Ed Straker: Please stop acting like you own the place. You don’t. Really.