An Alien Chef’s Look at Shoop and a Favourite

Haggis

This is a rare and endangered species from a little explored region of Earth known as Scotland.

According to legend, Haggis come in two different species, the ones that can be trapped and the ones that are hunted with nets. Little is known about the creatures although we believe that their pelts are used to make what are called ‘sporrans’.

Due to the rarity of the species, the tribes who inhabit this wild and terrifying land have devised a simple substitute for their favourite dish. They use the ‘offal’ (or perhaps that is actually spelt ‘awful’) of a more common creature, a shoop.

Here is their recipe. As we do not have herds of ‘sheep’ here, you can substitute items from more easily available sources. Now is the perfect opportunity to clear your freezer of all those unused spare parts.

Ingredients:

I shoop stomach bag

I shoop pluck ( this is the liver, heart and lungs)

3 onions

150 g of oatmeal seasoning

150mls of stock

250 g of beef suet

Clean the stomach bag , and soak overnight. Then turn it inside out.

The ‘pluck’ needs to be washed and boiled for one and a half hours. (Hang the windpipe over the edge of the pan) Then mince the cooked heart and lungs and grate half of the liver.

Chop up the onions and suet and mix all the ingredients (Including oatmeal and seasoning together), then add enough stock to make a watery mixture.

Fill the stomach bag with the mixture until it is half full, then press out the air and sew the bag up.

Boil for 3 hours.

Serve with mashed potatoes.

Enjoy!

Haggis Scoticus

 

Meatballs

Here at last. The Supreme Commander’s Special recipe!
Get that mince ready. This works well with good quality steak, you know, those parts that you can’t otherwise use!

Ingredients:
900 g of meat. Minced
Half a green pepper deseeded and finely chopped
I egg, beaten
1 onion finely chopped
I large clove of garlic
1 teaspoon of mixed herbs
2 slices of bread ( crumbed)
1 dessertspoon tomato puree
Salt and Pepper

Simply mix all the ingredients together and, using you ice cream scoop ( You DID read the Handy Household Hints?) make neat balls. Roll them in flour and then brown them in a large frying pan, before putting in an oven proof dish.

Tomato Sauce:
Fry a small onion together with the other half of the chopped green pepper for a few minutes, then add a tin of tomatoes , a chopped clove of garlic and a teaspoon of basil. Simmer then pour over the meatballs. Cook at Gas 5 375 F 190 C for about an hour.

Delicious.