The publishers of the Ed Straker (may his name be reviled through the universe) Herald have, in the past endeavoured to show this vile criminal in a favourable light through a variety of different media. Here, today we, the Homeworld Gazette publishers are proud to show our readers the true face of this heinous villain. That sneering contemptuous glance is evidence of his total lack of humanity. The driving force…
Sir! Recent government policy changes have led to a serious shortage in the number of reputable spare parts that are available. Does the Government realise how damaging their action is to the health and well-being of the population? If we are forced to rely on sub-standard replacements, then there will be catastrophic consequences for everyone concerned. Our traditional methods have served us well over the last centuries, and despite…
Here are the latest reports. Water rationing will continue for the foreseeable future. Despite various rituals and incantations we have been unable to make it rain. Please continue to do your part to ensure that water is not wasted. Sharing your shower is a good idea. Please refrain from washing vehicles. Remember: A caring driver has a dirty car. Power outages will increase. Please watch your local news stations for…
A personal account from one of our intrepid fighters who is risking his life to ensure our future survival in the war against SHADO. Greetings to all. The Homeworld Gazette asked me to write a account of what is involved in one of our voyage ands I will be sending regular updates back home. 1: Great excitement (as usual) in the space station as I am prepared for my journey….
1. ED STRAKER: Wanted for crimes against humanity. Terrorism. War Crimes. REWARD: The Homeworld Gazette is offering a reward of (untranslatable) for information leading to the capture or annihilation of Ed Straker. Date of Birth: Unknown. (Some sources suggest 21st Sept) Place of Birth: Boston USA Height: 5’11 to 6’ 0’ Weight: Unknown Build: Slender Hair; Blond (short) Eyes: Blue Complexion: Light Nationality: American Sex: Male Scars: Visible on lower…
This month’s horoscopes: July 2011 Capricorn: 22nd Dec – 19thJan A surprise visitor will startle you later this month. Be prepared for a tall dark stranger at your door, but unfortunately, this will not lead to a long and emotional relationship. You will have a short, sharp shock, but after that there will be nothing further to concern you. Lucky sound. Door bell chimes Aquarius: 20th Jan – 18th Feb…
Transcript of the message from S4eU, currently en route to Sol3 To be edited before release for broadcasting. Greetings, homeworld. Mission Commander 13m , with news of our ongoing mission. With me are Captain 56b, and First Officer 32g. Life here on the front line continues to provide us with considerable challenges, not least of which is the boredom of space travel. Despite all the luxuries that are provided…
Greetings humans. In this month’s issue we are pleased to bring our many readers, both at home and on Earth, a wider selection of columns, reports, photographs and life-style articles than ever before. The current editors of the Ed Straker (may his name be reviled through the universe) Herald, have been powerless to stop our cyber experts who have hacked into the Herald’s systems to bring you this most special…
The newest biometerological report! Save your organs the stress, plan replacements ahead of everyone else! The Meteorological Office issued the following warning to northern areas Warning: Severe lows are expected in all areas, following the rapid development of a large depression over the Eastern seaboard. You are advised to remain indoors once the sirens have been sounded. The Government health channel will broadcast continuous comedy programmes in an effort to…
More of our own Homeworld Hints! M: Marshmallows: Want a pedicure after all that time in space? Use marshmallows to separate your toes before applying nail varnish! N: Newspapers: Stuff your spacesuit with newspapers and leave it for a few days to remove unpleasant odours. Works well on suitcases and trunks (and transport cylinders). O: Oatmeal: Still suffering the effects of long haul space flight? Dry itchy skin? Here is…