This month Dr Jackson has asked his assistants to help answer some of the questions sent in by concerned readers. Dear Dr Jackson. I recently purchased some new clothing and, in an attempt to lose my reputation of being predictable and unadventurous and other such uncomplimentary names, I bought several pairs of black socks with the latest fashion in striped toes. Very daring I have to say! But they…
Dear Dr Jackson, I’ve had enough – the widespread smoking both up on Moonbase and at HQ is giving me a right pain in the chest. I went to see Commander Straker and the first thing he did after lighting a cigar was to say “So what’s the burning issue?” Nicholas O’Tine Dear Nick. I have read through your file and note that your last psychometric evaluation was two months…
Dear Dr. Jackson, Ever since I started working for SHADO I’ve felt that HQ should have been placed in Rome or Athens, where the weather is warm, the food is excellent and the women are… Well anyway, can’t we at least get some better grub than black pudding and shepherd’s pie? Yours, Grumbling Australian Dear Grumbling Australian. You should learn to appreciate the finer aspects of the great English cuisine. It is…
Dear Dr Jackson. I am not sure how to how to say this, but I think that our esteemed leader is showing signs of stress. Perhaps it is time that he was sent on an enforced vacation. And then the rest of us can apply for leave and get it? (And maybe some of us could come back from exile? It’s cold here in McMurdo.) Yours Alec A concerned staff…
Dear Dr Jackson, I have been hearing strange high-pitched noises during the night. They wake me up and I am unable to sleep. What is more worrying is that no one else seems to be disturbed by these sounds.I seem to be the only person who can hear them. Please can you help me? Elizabeth H. Dear Mrs H. High pitched noises at night? Unpleasant, especially as you say that…
Dear Dr Jackson. Every time I come to work I am followed by a rather creepy group of people in a car, right up to the Studio main entrance. They drive right up behind me and stay on my tail. I am worried what will happen if I stop, even though I am moving slowly. I would appreciate your advice. Communications Operative Dear Communications Operative, I was concerned about…
Following recent IAC performance-related targets all operatives are required to complete the following questionnaire to assess their suitability for continued employment. Please answer truthfully: 1. Commander Straker orders everyone to work overtime to repair the computer system in Control. Do you: A. Jump for joy and set to work with a big smile B. Moan quietly but still get cracking C. Mutter under your breath about the evil…
For this special issue of the Ed Straker (may his name be reviled through the universe) Herald, we have asked two of our leading psychotherapists, Doctor Virginia and Doctor Alec to answer your questions. Dear Doctors, I recently met a new man in my life. He is everything I could wish for, handsome, wealthy, fun, generous and considerate. He is the man of my dreams and has asked me to…
Jackson. Investigate the following: http://www.fanderson.org.uk/fansales/fansale2.html#Order Report to me a.s.a.p. Straker SHADO report: Ref: 124105AcFanSa Commander: I have ascertained the following facts. Fanderson is an organisation which allows its members access to specific items that SHADO provides for its employees. I acquired some of these items as part of my intensive research and herewith are my findings. The introduction to Fanderson states that it is the official appreciation society for the…
Dear Dr Jackson, I am an unmarried scientist in my thirties, and although I have, in the past had a string of short term but intense romances, most of which have ended in disappointment. I now find myself attracted to my boss. He, however, seems to completely ignore my advances despite all my attempts. I find myself running after him, stealing surreptitious sips from his coffee, even batting my eyes…