1. ED STRAKER: Wanted for crimes against humanity. Terrorism. War Crimes. REWARD: The Homeworld Gazette is offering a reward of (untranslatable) for information leading to the capture or annihilation of Ed Straker. Date of Birth: Unknown. (Some sources suggest 21st Sept) Place of Birth: Boston USA Height: 5’11 to 6’ 0’ Weight: Unknown Build: Slender Hair; Blond (short) Eyes: Blue Complexion: Light Nationality: American Sex: Male Scars: Visible on lower…
The HomeWorld Horoscope
This month’s horoscopes: July 2011 Capricorn: 22nd Dec – 19thJan A surprise visitor will startle you later this month. Be prepared for a tall dark stranger at your door, but unfortunately, this will not lead to a long and emotional relationship. You will have a short, sharp shock, but after that there will be nothing further to concern you. Lucky sound. Door bell chimes Aquarius: 20th Jan – 18th Feb…
Reports from the Front Line
Transcript of the message from S4eU, currently en route to Sol3 To be edited before release for broadcasting. Greetings, homeworld. Mission Commander 13m , with news of our ongoing mission. With me are Captain 56b, and First Officer 32g. Life here on the front line continues to provide us with considerable challenges, not least of which is the boredom of space travel. Despite all the luxuries that are provided…
UFO-Movie postponed another year!
Matthew Gratzner and Avi Haas, the producers hoping to bring a UFO-Movie to the silver screen, have stated on their website: ‘This is a BIG film and it takes time to prepare a project of this magnitude. Like you we are huge fans of the original series and want to do it justice.’ With that statement the movie is being postponed another year, release date now says 2013. Sounds like…
The HomeWorld Gazette Now!
Greetings humans. In this month’s issue we are pleased to bring our many readers, both at home and on Earth, a wider selection of columns, reports, photographs and life-style articles than ever before. The current editors of the Ed Straker (may his name be reviled through the universe) Herald, have been powerless to stop our cyber experts who have hacked into the Herald’s systems to bring you this most special…
Weather Report
The newest biometerological report! Save your organs the stress, plan replacements ahead of everyone else! The Meteorological Office issued the following warning to northern areas Warning: Severe lows are expected in all areas, following the rapid development of a large depression over the Eastern seaboard. You are advised to remain indoors once the sirens have been sounded. The Government health channel will broadcast continuous comedy programmes in an effort to…
Hnady Household Hints for the Single Alien Officer: Part 2
More of our own Homeworld Hints! M: Marshmallows: Want a pedicure after all that time in space? Use marshmallows to separate your toes before applying nail varnish! N: Newspapers: Stuff your spacesuit with newspapers and leave it for a few days to remove unpleasant odours. Works well on suitcases and trunks (and transport cylinders). O: Oatmeal: Still suffering the effects of long haul space flight? Dry itchy skin? Here is…
Handy Household Hints for the Single Alien Officer: Part 1
In anticipation of our eventual conquest of the new world, we have devised a list of handy hints that will enable our brave colonists to use all available resources to ensure their survival. These have all been rigorously tested and approved by our scientists. A: Aluminium foil: Toast your own sandwich. Cheese sandwiches wrapped in aluminium foil can be turned into an instant hot and tasty snack by using an…
Gordon Carew: The UFO SHADO Pistol Project
Making the dream a reality: Gerry Anderson – The UFO SHADO Pistol Project The Gerry Anderson UFO SHADO Pistol Project began with the first UFO incident in September of 1970. I was seven years old. I saw the first episode of a new TV series called UFO. I was hooked from the opening credits. The opening credits features flashes of alien invasion, advanced rockets dogfighting in space, living on the…